Basically every time I start to gain confidence about this move someone likes to swoop in and give me a reality check. They like to bring up that the job market blows or that since I'm a 5'2", scrawny girl there's a good chance I'll be stabbed and mugged if I stay out past 7pm. It's at this point that a spiral into panic mode and think that I'm making a huge mistake and this whole thing could be a disaster. The simple solution would be to stop talking to people, but that's not a viable option on the day of my BBQ. So here's my tip of the day. If you're ever making a big life change and have severe anxiety issues like myself consider running on a treadmill. This will likely be the first and last time I endorse any sort of physical activity. I pretty much only go to the gym so that I can eat more ice cream later that day, so to mention it even once is a bit hypocritical. However, I've found that for the past couple of weeks my trips to the gym have been the only time I can stop thinking about my move. When I'm running on a treadmill all my focus has to be on moving because otherwise I'll get slammed into the control panel and be the laughing stock of my gym. That's why I recommend the treadmill over running in general. You can just stop running, but on the treadmill you have to keep moving. If you run on a treadmill at a gym you also feel the pressure to impress the physically fit people around you. Even after I'm done at the gym I have about a solid hour of clarity where I remind myself that shit happens. I might not be able to find a job and I might hate living in London, but I can always come home. This whole thing will be worth the risk in the end because when I'm old I'll be able to know that at least I tried it out. I've wanted to live in England since I was a kid and if I never even attempted it I'd be one of those old ladies bitching about missed opportunities that all the nurses hate because they're bitter and always hitting people with their canes.
Now time for some true wisdom from the most underrated character on Dawson's Creek, Jen Lindley. She's a fucking sage and if you ever get a chance just look up quotes from the series finale. She basically just throws out wisdom bombs every time she's on screen.
"You’re just gonna sit here for your entire life waiting and hoping for the world to come to you? Because the point of those stories, Joey, is that people’s lives – their real lives – only begin when they step out into the world. And when you do that, when you meet it head on, maybe you change the world, maybe you don’t, but the point is that it changes you. And that is what people mean when they talk about growing up."
That's not actually from the finale, but it sums up what I should be saying to all the people who like to force me to think about reality. Jen Lindley gets it and so should everyone else. I'm trying to force myself to grow up instead of waiting for something to happen. I should have done it when I was 22, but I was poor and lame back then. Now I'm still lame, but I have money so that's good enough for me.
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