Museums and Stuff

I just realized that I've been a total slacker on here and I haven't even talked about all the museums I've gone to.  I'm now going to take you on a tour of a couple of London's museums.

1.  Natural History Museum

This museum was very fun.  First off, they have a wicked dinosaur exhibit.  It's really cool and has a lot of dinosaur skeletons and some animatronic dinosaurs as well.  The museum is very much laid out for kids, so it's also fairly interactive and the blurbs on what you're looking at are interesting and relatively short.  They also have this awesome glowing globe thing that you go into to enter the geological portion of the museum.  It took the whole day to get to, but a lot of the exhibits were pretty amazing and visually stunning.  They had a giant replica of a blue whale that was awesome.  That being said, the museum is a bit dated.  One of the maps actually had USSR on it.  In retrospect I should have donated some money with a note attached saying "This pound is donated specifically towards any map that doesn't acknowledge the dissolution of the USSR."

2.  Victoria & Albert Museum

The building of this museum is very attractive.  Lots of marble and arches.  They also had a really cool exhibit on some ancient architecture.  I didn't have as much fun at this museum because as someone pointed out "It's more of a posh museum."  Direct quote.  It did have some nice art in it though.  Apparently they often do special exhibits and once did one on Star Wars, so I'll have to keep an eye out for that.

3.  Madame Toussaud's

Not technically a museum, as I'm sure you know.  The wax figures were quite impressive and it made for some good photo ops.  Additionally, there's a ride in it that shows you the history of London.  I use the term ride loosely.  It's a cab on a track.  It was pretty cool though to see it all.  It's funny to see the difference in the wax figures.  Some of them are insanely well done whereas others look nothing like their human counterpart.

I actually have some photos with me in it, but I'm always embarrassingly short compared to the people I'm posed next to.  Also, they have professional photographers there to take pictures of you with Obama, the Royal Family, and some other one.  I think you have to pay for them, but I wasn't feeling lame enough to find out.  As an aside, this one was £30, so you have to really want to see some wax figures.

4.  Sherlock Holmes Museum

This was a weird one because as all of you know (or should know) Sherlock Holmes is not a real person.  Obviously I knew this going into the museum, but I figured they'd have some artifacts (I'm blanking on the word I actually want to use here) from the shows and movies.  This museum is really just a recreation of what Sherlock Holmes' house would probably look like.  They also had some super creepy wax figures and just random stuff from the books, like knives and stuff.  I'm happy I went I guess, but I'd say skip it.  Especially if you don't have copious amounts of time like I do.

5.  National Gallery

I'm definitely not an expert in art.  In fact I know very little about art.  I know nothing about technique or the different art periods.  I basically know that impressionism is a thing and that a lot of art snobs don't like it.  That being said, I love looking at it.  I'm so bad at art that I have such an appreciation for what artists do.  At least with the more classic artists.  Admittedly I find a lot of modern art to be a bit questionable.  I'm pretty sure I could throw paint angrily at a canvas and sell it for $1,000.  Thankfully this art gallery was filled with older art that I couldn't create in a million years so I enjoyed the whole thing.  There was one series of paintings that chronicled a husband and wife who basically hated each other and ultimately died of some disease.  It was random and I loved it.

I'm going to try and go to St. Paul's Cathedral this Friday, so I'll try and blog about that.  Tomorrow I'm staying in with my roommate and watching scary movies because that's what unemployed bums do when their roommate's have a day off.  I swear I'm going to start working soon.

Adventures with Peanut Butter

Well loyal blog readers, the day has finally arrived.  I have finished my jar of Kraft peanut butter and now I've had to move on to Sun-Pat.  I always knew this day would come, but I don't think I was ready for it.  Sun-Pat claims to have an American recipe, but I can tell you right now that it's different.  I think it tastes more like peanuts and therefore contains less sugar than Kraft.

Farewell my beloved smooth Kraft peanut butter, like my Converse sneakers I shall miss thee.

The coolest thing about SP is that it comes in a glass jar.  Very classy.  However, it doesn't have the tin foil covering that I enjoy peeling, but it does have a sticker to seal it so that you know no one broke in.  I guess that will do.  Since I have no other option I suppose this peanut butter is passable.  I'll still eat a pb sand a day, but I'll admit that I already miss the sugary goodness of Canadian pb.  I've said it before and I'll say it again, anyone who comes to visit me must pay me a tithe of one jar of peanut butter.  Any size will do since all sizes are bigger than the ones here.  When my roommate saw my jar of Kraft he commented on how big it was.  I told him I brought the small size.  It was only a little 1 kger.  Imagine if I had brought the 2 kg one.  His mind would have been blown.  In case you're wondering, Sun-Pat is a puny 600 g.  They actually have Skippy here, but the jar is essentially travel size (my guess is 200 g).  I could eat it in 10 minutes flat.  In fact, I hope someone dares me to do that just so I can prove I'm right.

I took a photo of me smiling with the Sun-Pat to try and trick myself into thinking it would be good.  Even before opening it I knew it wouldn't be the same, but at that time I still had hope.

To the gym...and beyond!

Disclaimer: This is a couple days old now.  When I originally tried to publish it my internet was being annoying.

I finally made it to the gym!  I have to admit, I wasn't going to go.  I was going to once again succumb to my laziness, but my roommate basically told me to get out and while I was gone she'd clean her room.  The workout was great.  I felt a bit out of place because no one here seems to clean the machines.  So I awkwardly went up to someone and went "Um, so, are there like cloths or anything so I can wipe down the machine?"  They looked at me with a blank face and then told me to just use paper towels if I really felt it was necessary.  After that I shut my mouth and avoided speaking to anyone.  Apart from that it was a decent workout.  I'm not as out of shape as I thought and some of the machines are really cool.  The other confusing part was that you have to put in a pin code to get in and then they put you in this weird glass thing that then allows you to enter the gym.  Hard to explain.  I'll take a picture next time.  Oh, and they also have random neon lights in every gym I passed.  I'm not sure if that's some sort of motivational tool or if gyms turn into nightclubs at night, but it was interesting all the same.

In sadder news, I've had to dispose of my beloved Converse sneakers.  They had holes in the bottom and smell bad.  Their official time of death was 4:37pm and they now reside in my trash can.  Converse sneakers, you had a good run and got me through a lot of rough times.  I will miss you.  You served me well.

Update:  One day after my workout my legs were so sore that I had a limp.  I haven't been back to the gym since, but I do intend on going back eventually because I still haven't kicked my candy habit.  I figure if I'm going to have no teeth by the end of this year I should at least attempt to be fit.  Also, I tried to replace my Converse sneakers and I'm having a tough time because my feet are a size 3 here.  I don't know if that makes my feet sound dainty or child like.  I'll ask around and get back to you on it.

Night Out!!!

Last night was my first proper night out in London.  I have to say that going out in London is way more fun than going out in Toronto.  Mainly because with my accent I apparently have crazy appeal here.  Plus I have an instant conversation starter.  So many people would talk to me at the bar just to find out where I was from.  The best part of my evening however was making two new friends named Jethro and Angus.  I would have been pumped to meet just one of them with names like that, but to meet them both was just amazing.  On top of that I now have plans for Tuesday to go to a pub quiz night in Clapham.  Now I have two friends outside of my housemates in Clapham.  Soon I'll have five and according to the Babysitter's Club that's a lot of friends.  Anyway, it was a good night out and I made it home safely, so all in all it was a success.

Ponderings of the week

These are all related to Clapham since I rarely venture to other neighbourhoods.

1.  Everyone seems to own a scooter.  I'm talking push scooters here, not even electric ones.  They're everywhere and not limited to children.  I feel like I'm missing out on some kind of trend.
2.  No one seems to work.  I see a suspiciously large number of people drinking coffee at all times of the day.  How do people afford to live in London without a job?
3.  Neon yellow pinnies (10 points to anyone who knows what a pinny is.  Hint: You had to wear them in gym class) seem to be worn by a lot of people here.  Are they all construction workers?  Do they do this so that they don't get hit by cars?  If I get one will I be instantly cooler and more accepted in my neighbourhood?
4.  Do people here not run on coffee the way we do in North America?  When I told my roommate I was considering buying a coffee machine she said the one she has would suffice, but hers only makes one small cup at a time.  I need at least three of those a day to function.
5.  Were these candies created to give me a sugar addiction and possibly lead me down a dark path towards diabetes?

6.  Can I get on one of the many reality shows that exist to humiliate you when you're drunk and pathetic in a club?
7.  I know they get American TV, but I never see anything but Friends on.  Do they think that Friends is an accurate depiction of life in North America?

I have a lot more ponderings, but these are my main ones for the week.  It's given me a lot to think about.  I really need to start working soon so that I don't care about these mundane things so much anymore.

Off to Camden I Go

Try not to be too shocked by this, but I actually managed to do something interesting today.  So far I've been squandering my time off in London by never leaving myt was pretty area or just going to see the touristy stuff that I've already seen.  Today I went to Camden Market, which is still a tourist attraction, but one I've never been to before.  I'm going to start with the fact that there was a cookie bar there.  The moment I saw that sign I had to go.  Turns out a cookie bar is just a cookie shop where you go and sit at the counter like it's a bar.  Naturally I got a peanut butter and chocolate chip cookie heated up.  It was amazing.

So Camden Market is basically just a bunch of random little markets.  A lot of it is just pure tourist stuff, but they had a lot of food stands and some vintage shops in there.  They also had a lot of weird names like The Railway or Horse Tunnel Market, so that made it fun to explore.  Lots of random statues too.  Now I'm to go watch the England vs. Poland game.  Fingers crossed for England!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Well, obviously by being here I've missed my favourite holiday.  I would totally sacrifice Christmas for Thanksgiving, but unfortunately Thanksgiving is just too soon for me to be flying home.  I managed to hang out with two Canadians this weekend and yesterday I had dinner in a Canadian pub, so I feel that that's as close as I can get to a Thanksgiving here.  I say that in the hope that you're all aware I can't cook, so cooking a turkey isn't an option.  Also, what would I do with a giant turkey?  If I were to make a whole turkey for myself I may as well just buy a cat and call it a day.  My big attempt to do get a Thanksgiving meal item was asking my roommate if pumpkin pie is a thing here.  It's not.  They have pumpkin spice lattes at Starbucks still, but no actual pumpkin pie.  Why you gotta play me like that, London?  I don't know why the Brits haven't jumped on board with a holiday that's dedicated to thanks and eating, but I'm thinking I should work on converting them for next year.  Or I'll just fly home and get to eat pie.  I did get to watch football and I got mashed potatoes and vegetables with my meal yesterday, so I didn't do too badly.  My original plans were to sit at home sulking about the fact that I'm missing my favourite holiday, so I'm considering this alternate version a success.  Happy Thanksgiving to all my family and friends!  I hope you all enjoyed your delicious meals and pumpkin pie.  Now that you know that pumpkin pie is a rare commodity you should all savor it more.  Really appreciate what a luxury it is.  Then tell me about it so I can live vicariously through you.

Happy one month anniversary to me!

So it's my one month anniversary in London.  I'm not sure if you can even say it's been one month since half of that was spent in other countries, but whatever.  Sadly I had McDonald's yesterday so today I will not be having that in celebration.  In fact I'm having an extremely lame day in celebration, but tomorrow I'm going to go to the British Museum.  It may be sad that that's my treat, but I don't care.  I'm very excited for it.

Things I've learned so far:

1.  Where to buy a blow dryer, towels, groceries, and clothes.
2.  That pedestrians don't have the right of way or if they do no one cares.
3.  That the person who created the traffic lights was most likely an aspiring evil genius who hates pedestrians.  I discussed this with a Canadian PhD student and she agrees with me, so I know I'm right.
4.  Everyone in England wonders why I moved here leading me to believe that I could have convinced someone to do a house swap with me The Holiday style.  My mom is now an empty nester so I'm sure she would have been on board with this.
5.  I found a gym that costs less and gives me more than my one back home.  Plus it's open 24 hours a day and you don't have to sign up for a contract, just like Snap.  I wasn't going to join a gym, but after a month of eating mostly carbs and candy I think it might be necessary.
6.  Being sick is apparently appealing to everyone in London.
7.  The service here is terrible and I love it.
8.  That if I'm given too much time to do nothing I become extremely lazy and more sloth like.
9.  Museums are still free and now that I know that I might go crazy.
10.  I don't understand half of what people are saying.
11.  The TV here is crazy raunchy.  I actually saw a guy get a cold sore burned off his penis the other day.  It was revolting and I can't get it out of my head.

Things I have yet to learn:

1.  Cheap coffee.  Yeah, I'm still going on about this.  It is the bane of my existence.  I've been to at least 10 different coffee shops since arriving here.  The day I find anything under £2 that gives me more than a thimble of coffee is the day I will know I belong here.
2.  An internal sense of direction.  I'm still lost on a very regular basis.  I'm getting better, but barely.
3.  Where I can get a cheap haircut.  I thought I actually found a place, but then it turned out to be a men's barber shop.  For a split second I considered going in anyway and claiming to be an extremely effeminate man just to see if they would give me the haircut, but ultimately I decided against it.  So now the search continues.  I just want a First Choice or Super Cuts.  Is that so much to ask?
4.  How to make new friends.  I haven't really tried that hard to make new friends.  To be honest I'm kind of enjoying the time to myself, but when the time comes that I need to make new friends I'm not sure how I'll do it.
5.  Probably loads of other stuff, but I'm watching a show on nudists so I can't think of them right now.  I'll update you again at two months.

JOBBED!!!

So apparently the good city of London is on board with my awkwardness.  I got the job I interviewed for yesterday.  I legitimately said I was lame at one point during the interview.  When she called to tell me I sounded so surprised she went "You sound shell shocked.  Are you okay?"  They're probably thinking they've made the biggest mistake in hiring me.  Not only did I get a job, but I got a job that's in my field and I think they have free coffee there.  It's an hour out in Sutton, which is too bad, but Sutton is really cute so I'm willing to do it.  I was honestly prepared to be unemployed for ages and I was wondering how I'd pay for my drinking problem, but it looks like my alcoholism can continue.  I'm kidding.  I honestly don't have a drinking problem.  My family is probably legitimately worried about my drinking habits, but I haven't had a drink since Tuesday.  That was a joke, but true at the same time.  Anyway, to celebrate I'm getting McDonald's tonight because that's what champs do.

I found this pond in the park to sit in because I thought the call was going to be bad news.  There's a legitimate fishing contest that's going on there this weekend, so I'm obviously swinging by for that.  The poster also mentioned something about swimming.  I only half read it, but in my mind people are wearing speedos and diving for fish.  How can I possibly pass that up?

Total side note:  I was sick for both my interview and when I looked at the house I'm currently living in.  Be honest with me friends and family, do I hold a greater appeal when I'm sick?  I'm beginning to think I do because I never had this much luck as a healthy person.  I'm planning on being sick all the time to keep this lucky streak going.

I want my blankie

For those of you who actually read some of my initial blog posts you should remember that my original packing list involved wanting a lot of blankets and I deemed that insane.  Now that I'm constantly sick all I want is my pink afghan.  I miss snuggling up with it.  Perhaps this is why Linus was always my favourite Peanuts character.  Everyone made fun of him, but he knows where it's at.  I still stand by my decision not to bring it.  It was way too huge to bring, but I'm now missing it.  On a totally random and unrelated note, I had my first job interview today and it blew.  Since I haven't had an interview in two years I basically talked at lightning speed and made lame jokes the whole time.  On the bright side, it's over with and now maybe I'll be less neurotic for the next one.  It's always good to get one bad one out of the way.  Or at least that's what I'm telling myself.

What's the deal with the coffee?

Update:  I solved the mystery of the Pac Man van.  On my way home from the grocery store I saw some guy scraping off Pac, so it seems that this guy got a deal on a van because there was Pac Man stuff all over it and now he's trying to clean it so his friends don't think he's lame.  I'm thinking that I should replace that brainy bitch Velma in Scooby's gang.  I'm clearly way more efficient than she is.

Now I have a new and very important mystery to solve.  Finding cheap coffee.  This is more of a quest than a mystery.  I've been working on it since I got here.  Here's a tip for anyone thinking of moving to London.  Don't be fooled by their £1.25 coffee.  If someone says you're getting a coffee for a £1.25 it means it looks like this.

That's right.  For what would be around $2.00 in Canada you get a tiny styrofoam cup of coffee.  I've been tricked into this multiple times now.  I'm beginning to think that Starbucks is my only option because clearly people in Europe think that a shot of coffee will do me for the day.  They are sorely mistaken.  Thanks to IMAX I require probably a litre of coffee a day.  I know it's sick and I've tried to go off it, but my body is sluggish without it.  I think IMAX should probably buy me a coffee maker and a lifetime supply of coffee grounds and filters since they're responsible for my dependency on coffee.

In other news, I was asked for directions today!  Granted the guy was asking everyone he saw, including a woman who resembled the crazy cat lady from The Simpsons, but I was still excited about it.  At least I look like someone who may know directions and not someone who's wandering the streets lost and confused.  If I was able to give him directions to where he was going that would have really made my day.  Instead he had to rely on the crazy cat lady.

Meeting Up....with fellow Canadians

So today I attempted a Canadian meetup group.  For those of you who aren't nerdy and don't need assistance making friends there's a site called meetup.com that allows you to pick groups that interest you and go meet new people.  Up until this point I've been hesitant because meeting new people is terrifying.  It brings out all my social awkwardness and typically ends in me drinking too much.  I'm also just too lazy and would rather stay home, but I don't want my roommates to think I'm a total hermit and it's a Monday, so I figured I have nothing to lose.  We met up at a Canadian themed bar called The Maple Leaf.

It was a pretty cute place and they played hockey on TV, which is cool.  The meetup wasn't terrible.  I met some cool people and made a new friend that's living in Clapham, but they all really wanted to talk about Canada and your life in London because so far that's all we have in common and it was kind of boring from that respect.  The one guy gave me a tip that the best meetups to go to are the ones where you all have a common interest, like religion or whatever.  I'd be a bit afraid to get into a Christian group though.  Even though I'm fairly religious I'm not really into other Christians because I'm a horrible person.  They start throwing Bible quotes at me and when I don't know them I feel judged and inadequate.  I prefer to just spread love and peace like a hippie.  Anyway, the point is that I'll probably go to this meetup again and try to talk to people that don't like to talk about the politics of Canada because that's not what I want to talk about with anyone.  I will also point out that I only had one beer, which for me is impressive in a pretty intimidating social scenario.

On a way more fun note, check out this photo of a...trailer?  RV?  Van? from the parking lot near my place.  I can't decide if it's for something or if this person just really loves Pac Man.  "Chomp on this" makes it sound like it's for some sort of food, but then there's no indication of a type of business on it.  I'm glad me and the gang (the gang being my cell phone and iPod) have another mystery on our hands.  Ever since I figured out the mystery of the laundry I've been bored.  

Suck it, Paris!!!!!

http://news.yahoo.com/london-steals-title-best-city-world-paris-082514726.html

London is the best city in the world!  I clearly saw this coming and that's why I chose to move this year.  My favourite line is that it's easy for foreigners to fit in.  That's me!  So far I'm not fitting in since I look perpetually lost and keep almost getting smoked by oncoming vehicles, but I'm sure eventually that will change.  If not I'll die knowing I was in the best city in the world.  I also want to point out that I just moved from the #3 city in Canada to the #1 in the world.  I'm all about moving up.

Update: How to do laundry in London

I forgot to explain how the Brits do their laundry. It turns out that my roommates weren't lying when they said having a washing machine was a huge bonus. It costs £3.40 to do a small load of washing. I signed away the first born child I'll never have just to pay for it. Drying however is only £1. So I've decided I'll buy a drying rack for most stuff and just lug wet laundry to the dryer when needed. I've also decided that I should consider pimping out our washer for the low price of £2 a wash to help sustain my drinking problem.

You know your roommates are awesome when....

Before I even get into my night I'm just going to say that I was in my sweatpants by 6pm and had every intention of going to bed around 9pm completely sober.  Here's what happened instead....

That totally made it seem like I went on some crazy bender last night.  Like I came back wearing a bunch of glow sticks and found two guys in my bed.  In reality my night consisted of getting drunk and watching movies.  So this post is dedicated to the awesomeness of my roommates.  First off, they gave me free food.  That was enough to win me over because free food is basically my favourite thing.  The only thing that could be better is free McDonald's, which I'm aware is food, but they obviously didn't come home with free McDonald's for me.  They don't even know that my favourite meal is the Quarter Pounder with a Coke (aka combo #1).  Unless I'm splurging and then it's a Big Mac meal.  Interesting fact, in Munich they don't seem to have the Quarter Pounder meal.  They just have hamburgers and cheeseburgers.  Perhaps the thought of ordering fast food by weight repulses them.  I felt too gross to ask.  Anyway, so my one roommate supplied me with dinner and dessert making her my new favourite roommate.  My other roommate also provided me with a secondary dessert, so he's a close second.  Then we cracked open a bottle of wine each and watched Dirty Dancing and Disney movies all night.  We were full out singing to The Little Mermaid and it made my day complete.  Belting "Part of Your World" at 1am, although annoying to the neighbours, is so satisfying.  Mainly because you think you sound just like Ariel thanks to all the booze.  By the end of the night I'd had about a bottle and a half of wine and went to bed at 4am.  Although for the last two hours I was Skyping with my family, so I can't pin that one on my roommates.  The point is that my roommates are amazing, but may also be a very bad influence on me.  They can all drink a lot more than me and at this point I have no friends so my only option is to succumb to peer pressure and try to keep up with them.  Unfortunately for me my health is rapidly deteriorating, so I think I have no choice but to admit defeat and be a loser that stays in tonight.  It'll be boring, but if I can get rid of my smoker's cough voice it will totally be worth it.

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

I've now crossed the English Channel via train, plane, and bus.  Here's what I've learned, taking the bus is exhausting.  It took 8 hours to get from Brussels to London.  This is after it was an hour late arriving to the bus stop in Brussels, which was completely outside.  No shelter or anything and in a sketchy side street.  Then you get to the French border to cross the Channel and you have to get out and go to border control.  Then you get back on the bus for about five minutes as the bus drives onto the ferry.  Then you get off the bus and roam around the ferry for two hours and get back on the bus to continue your journey.  Granted I got on the bus at 1am after 7 hours of driving from Munich, so I probably wasn't in the best frame of mind, but if you can afford it I definitely recommend the train.  It's by far the best way to get around Europe.  It's fast, it gets you into the middle of town, the security isn't as crazy as planes and apparently not as crazy as buses either.  That being said, it's about double the cost of the train, so you really have to decide if it's worth it.  Now I'm finally home and it feels good.  I got to have a nice long shower, I'm going to do some grocery shopping, and I'm sober.  Although I'm a bit nervous for my impending withdrawal symptoms.  I actually felt so sick on the bus from all of the candy, sugar, and beer that I've consumed over the past week and a half.  Once I stopped to think about it I realized that I must have been on some kind of suicide mission.  It was a bit out of control.  I'm sad it's over though.  I really had a fun time and met some awesome people.  People who are travelling around Europe are always so interesting because they all have different reasons for doing it and different budgets.  The one thing all hostelers seem to have in common is that they all find money for booze.  I think most people in hostels would give up food and shelter to be able to drink beer all around Europe.  Alright, so now I'm going to find Asda's and do my first big shopping trip.  Then I'm going to attempt to find a place to do my laundry because even though I have a washer I don't see how that helps me when it comes to drying my clothes.  This is one of the great mysteries of living in London.

Oktoberfest Day 2: Partying with the locals

Yesterday we got to Oktoberfest a bit later, but that was probably for the best since everyone was a bit hungover. This time I had a bit more of the local cuisine because a nice girl at our table was feeding us all chicken and at the end of the night Eric and I got a sausage. We spent the whole day in the Lowenbrau tent. I had a whopping three beers. I lost count with Eric. We met two guys from Alberta. They were with some Australian group that goes around to different beer tents. We also had a lot of locals at our table, which was really cool. It's good to see that they don't hate it and like to get into it too. Today I'm pretty hungover and we have a 7 hour drive back to Belgium. I feel bad since Eric has to do all the driving. After that I'm taking an 8 hour bus ride back to London. So basically my next 24 hours is going to be very dull.

Oktoberfest Day 1: Beeeeeeer

So I was drunk by noon, but somehow still managed to make it to midnight. The key is to keep eating pretzels to soak up the beer. They have them everywhere and they're the size of my face. I'm too lazy to write anymore so I'll finish off by saying that it was super fun and even better than I hoped it would be.