Farewell 2013!!!

Since it's the last day of the year I figured I'd post something.  I'm not going to get all sappy because I'm a robot and sort of hate that kind of thing.  All things considered I think 2013 was a pretty awesome year.  I got a lot of free food, I finally moved to England, and I got a sweet coffee machine.  Of course with the number 13 in it I always knew it would be a banner year.  13 is an awesome number and it was always going to bring me some luck.  And let's face it, most of what has happened to me so far this year has been pure luck.  There is no way I should have found a job and amazing housemates almost as soon as I got here.  I never have that kind of good fortune and it certainly had nothing to do with me, except for the fact that I was on almost every job and roommate finder website out there, but that doesn't mean you're going to get anything good.  So if nothing else I will consider 2013 an anomaly and be thankful for it.  Towards the end I've been a bit crazy and not really taking care of myself from a physical point of view.  I'm pretty sure all of my organs are set to fail on me, so in 2014 I really am going to aim to be better.  I already have several cans of soup in my cupboard ready for my lunches.  Aside from that I'm trying to keep expectations low for 2014, despite what my resolutions indicate.  Overall I just hope that things continue to go well and I don't give myself diabetes.  If you keep your expectations low chances are at some point you'll be surprised.  That's my motto going into 2014.  On that note, I hope you all had a wonderful year and best of luck in 2014!

2014 Here I Come.....

Well, the new year is almost here, so naturally I'm making some resolutions for myself.  I make this every year fully knowing that I will achieve none of them, but I figure it doesn't hurt to start the year off with some goals.  So, here they are.

1.  Tough Mudder.

My friend mentioned that he's putting together a Tough Mudder team and asked if I wanted to join.  I said yes, but with the warning that I would most likely back down because I'm lazy and lack determination.  However, as of right now I'm keyed up to train for it because it will help me with my two other goals to eat better and exercise more.

2.  Eat better and exercise more.

For lunch today I had Pringles and Lamington, so I think it's safe to say that eating better is almost a necessity.  I think I'm a borderline diabetic at risk of having a heart attack at this point.  As for my exercise....it's equally as bad.  I'm lucky that I'm still walking to and from work everyday.

3.  Get out of London.

This sounds really bad.  I don't mean it in an "I hate London and can't wait to escape it" kind of way.  I just figure that since I'm here I should take the opportunity to see more of England, especially since it's so easy to get everywhere.  I love London, but I don't want to be one of those people who becomes a London hermit and refuses to ever go anywhere else in the UK.

4.  Learn how to cook.

This is a resolution of mine every year.  It never happens because I don't actually enjoy cooking.  If I win the lottery the first thing I'm doing is hiring a chef.  I'll get them to make me everything in pie form because it's such an amazing and efficient way of eating a bunch of different foods.

5.  Go to see a football and rugby game.

Most weeks I say I'm going to go to a pub and watch either a football or a rugby game and so far I've only done this twice (one match of each sport).  Now that American football is coming to an end I need to make the transition into European sports.

6.  Go to church more.

This may seem like a weird one, but realistically I've been terrible about going to church.  I was going to go today at 6pm and then decided to watch the Dolphins last game instead (they lost to the Jets and it totally wasn't worth watching), so in the new year I'm going to try and be better about this because I think it helps me to be a better person.

7.  Take a class.

Okay, I haven't talked about this with anyone.  It's coming out of nowhere, but I sort of want to take a class in something.  Somewhat to meet new people and somewhat just because I feel like my brain is atrophying and I think learning new things will help to focus my brain.  I've considered language classes, but I'm pretty bad at learning new languages and get discouraged easily, so I might do something else instead.

8.  Volunteer.

Now that I'm making this list I'm realizing how ambitious it is.  I guess the key is to not do it all at once and overwhelm myself.  I'm trying to be a better person because I think these first three months in London have been fairly selfish, so I think I should try to get back on track and volunteer.  It's a big city and I'm sure there are lots of opportunities to do this.

9.  Go to Greece and Russia.

I guess one of my other goals was to get out of London and technically this is out of London, but whatever.  If you're being that technical then you're crazy.  I thought I'd point it out before anyone beat me to it.  Anyway, these are the two places I want to visit most while here.  That and Norway, but apparently Norway is very expensive, so it's not good enough to make it into my goal list.  Only an honourable mention.

10.  Find a boy who's sole purpose in life is to cook for me and pay for the dog I will one day own.

This is more of a dream than a goal.  I'm thinking of putting an ad in the paper.  Someone's bound to go for it.  Maybe I can bribe them with candy and beer.

Okay, that's it.  Ten is a nice round number.  Realistically we're flipping into an even numbered year, so the chances of it being good or productive are slim, but you never know.  Aim high and all that.  I think there's a saying that fits in there, but I'm not good with inspirational quotes.  Basically I'm hoping that if I have ten resolutions I might get lucky and achieve two of them and that's enough for me.

British Style Christmas!!!

Alright, so first Christmas in England basically involved a lot of Skyping and a lot of drinking.  It was surprisingly fun though.  We had a proper dinner.  Entirely cooked by Steve because I can't cook to save my life.  We had turkey, pork, roasted potatoes, vegetables, and dessert, which we actually didn't make it to because we were so stuffed.  We also forgot the stuffing, but we still have it to make for later.  In case you're wondering about that table in the picture it's patio furniture from our backyard.

  

After that we went to the orphans Christmas, but it was really just a lot of people sitting around in groups of people they knew and it was kind of weird.  So instead we went to Brewers, which is a gay bar.  There was a drag queen in a Santa dress and I got a free Santa hat, so it was obviously a good time.  I admittedly drank way too much though because as it turns out trying to keep on pace with three Aussies is very difficult.  I don't recommend it if you're a lightweight.

To sum up, the only bit about this Christmas that resembled my Christmas back in Canada was going to midnight mass, but this was a good alternative.  It wasn't as sad or lonely as I expected it to be, but maybe that's because I was drunk for the last half of it.  I think mainly it had to do with the fact that I spent it with three other orphans who made it really fun.

It's a Christmas Miracle!!!

Well, yesterday it was super windy and raining, so naturally I got today off.  I woke up today at my normal time and showered and everything and then it dawned on me that I should check the trains.  Turns out they were all cancelled.  So I called my office to tell the one other person who would be working that I couldn't make it in only to be diverted to the other office where they told me that apparently no one made it into my office.  Thank you, Santa!  Now I've been sitting around all day with my housemate watching Veep and catching up on a Christmas Carol, which I'm not reading at a good clip.  I've also downed a pot of coffee because that's what days off are all about.  I wasn't that bothered about going in today since I have a week off, but starting Christmas break early is always amazeballs.  I cleaned my room and the kitchen, so now I feel like I can relax for two months.  Seriously, now that it's winter, despite the balmy weather, I'm basically in my hibernation mode.  And by basically I mean I'm fully immersed in it.  I actually cancelled a dinner with someone last week so I could watch Dance Moms with my housemate.  I faked food poisoning so that I could come home and wrap myself up in a warm blanket and veg in front of the TV.  If that's not the beginning of winter hibernation I don't know what is.  It's just so dark and cold outside and no one around here is teaching me how to be a bitchy and crazy dance mom, so I'm better off indoors.

On that note, I am about to head outside.  I don't especially want to, but there's food involved and apart from church it will be my only time out of the house, so I can't really get out of it.  Besides, I just bought an 18 pack of beer and my housemate and I have already decided that Boxing Day will consist of drinking and movies because going shopping on Boxing Day around here is basically a death wish for me.  I would undoubtedly get trampled by the hoards of people who have lost their decency and have no problem elbowing a scrawny, small chick in the face.  Speaking of which, I was ID'd at our corner store yesterday.  The girl looked at my ID and went "Oh my gosh.  86?"  Obviously my response was, "You got it.  Don't let me fool you.  I'm an old lady."  In her defense, I was wearing a black toque and a hoodie, so I looked a bit shady.  Okay, I'm already late for this lunch.  I'll probably write on here again later because I won't be able to sleep knowing that Santa's coming.

Christmas is coming....

So, I started this yesterday and then never posted it because I actually got too lazy.

Well, it's Saturday afternoon and all I've done today is drink a pot of coffee and watch the X Factor USA finale.  I have no investment in either contestant and I think they both suck, but I must know who wins.  When this is your Saturday you know that you're winning at life.  Nothing beats a Saturday of pure indulgence.  Just relaxing and knowing that it's completely justified because all the sights and malls are insanely packed plus it's raining outside.  The world wants me to be doing nothing indoors all day.

Anyway, I'm now preparing for Christmas and by that I mean I stole some decorations from work and I'm about to read A Christmas Carol.  I sort of OD on Christmas spirit when we come to the Christmas home stretch.  Christmas movies, A Christmas Carol, Christmas beats on my iPod.  I love it.  Of course I'm also the laziest person ever when it comes to actually coming through with presents at Christmas because malls are filled with youth and they scare me.  So this year I'm aiming for the Polish Christmas on January 6th because I've only sent out Christmas cards.  I've learned that shopping for presents is much harder without a car and no major mall nearby.  I have some presents and wrapping paper, so it's just a matter of actually sending stuff back home.  My defense will be that I'm trying to extend the time of Christmas joy by getting them sent over late.

Keeping on the Christmas theme, my housemate and I have found an orphans Christmas in the Clapham area.  I'm actually very excited for it.  I think it'll be fun to just have a chill Christmas that's pretty much just drinking and listening to Christmas music.  Although I will admit that I'll miss my family.  My Portuguese coworker said that she found it liberating when she spent her first Christmas away from home, but she went to her boyfriend's, so I don't think that's that liberating.  You're still having a family Christmas.  I think she's just pitying me and trying to pump me up for my impending orphans Christmas.

http://www.theclaphamnorth.co.uk/read-me/entry/christmas-is-coming

It's now Sunday and I'm watching a behind the scenes of Vicar of Dibley.  British people are hilarious and geniuses.  Anyone who can make the story of a vicar in a small village seem funny is phenomenal in my books.  I always love behind the scenes because you learn all the thought and work that goes into a program and it's amazing how the smallest thing will be so planned out.  Apparently the aim of the show initially was to push the Church of England to allow women to be ordained because the creator went to a wedding that a woman performed and he found it to be a lot more personal and well performed than when male ministers did it.  There's your fun fact for the day!

Get me to the church on time....

That title makes no sense.  I just couldn't think of anything else with church in it and I have no creativity.  I found a church!  I was a bit unsure at first because it had a screen in it and was a bit empty when I first arrived, but it filled up a bit and the screen was only used to exploit the cuteness of children by making them sing some song they learned, so I accept it.  The church is called Holy Trinity and it's located in Clapham Common, which is pretty cool.  It was a bit of a weird service, not majorly traditional and they do the new Lord's Prayer, but they don't sing it and I can still say the traditional one, so I won't hold that against them.  They offered me coffee, the main minister is a bit awkward, and the sermon was good, so I'm sold.  Plus they have a "younger" service at 6pm on Sundays, which I would normally be totally against because I'm secretly 95, but they go to the pub after, so I'm willing to give it a shot.  I've said "so" a lot in this post already.  Anyway, it was a decent service.  A little long, but I have yet to be at a service that is only an hour.  I think long services are just a way of life here.  As long as they give me coffee afterwards I'm on board.  I also found out that there's a church right across the street from me, so I may try that one day, but I don't know if I'd like going to a church that's so close to me.  There's no reason for this.  The proximity is just a bit weird.  What if the minister catches me stumbling home from the bar one night?  I don't know why the minister would be at the church on a Saturday night, but you never know.  These are the things I worry about when picking a church, which may be why it's taken me so long to find one.

Just to make me seem slightly cooler by now going on and on about church, I also went to a Christmas party last night.  It was at my cousin's house and I was naturally nervous because I didn't know anyone there and I'm socially awkward.  There were only about ten people at the party, which made it even weirder, but eventually I got into a groove and it was okay.  That may have been because I'd had three mugs of mulled wine, but that's really not that much, so my awkwardness should have been worse.  It was nice being in a different part of London and at a bit of a different party.  So far most weekends I've just gone out and gotten drunk or lounged around my house, so it was nice going to a house party.  I did leave with the following awkward send off, "I'll probably never see any of you again, but it was nice meeting you."  I have no idea why I said this.  I'm not good at goodbyes.  I'll put it on my long list of New Year Resolutions.  Tonight I'm going to watch X Factor with my housemates and gear up for my final full week of work before the Christmas break.

1,2,3 Train With Me....

Since I have yet to see a single snowflake here I thought I'd share this Buzzfeed article with you.  Vintage Christmas in London.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/ailbhemalone/16-magical-photos-of-old-time-festive-london

I have to admit that I'm really looking forward to Christmas here.  I'll miss my family of course, but it will be interesting to see what Christmas will be like as an adult orphan who still has family.  Plus, for the first time ever I have a week off at Christmas.  My brain might get overwhelmed with so much time off, but probably not because I've only been working for a month.

My train was delayed by a solid twenty minutes this morning because the headlights were flickering or something.  While we were stopped at a station I attempted to snap some pics.  This was a pretty big fail since I was in a train and only half a coffee in, but the results are displayed for you below.  I also attempted to get some fog shots, but the train was moving and they just ended up being crazy blurry.  Anyway, it was a beautiful morning and despite having to wake up earlier than usual I was still able to appreciate it.  I know eventually I'll become a jaded train rider, but so far I love it.  It's calming, I get to read the paper and drink my coffee, and if I'm lucky I get to listen in on teenage girls gush about boys and how far they've gone with them.  Living the dream.

Just to add to my train joy I will say that I'm insanely grateful that I take the train and not the tube.  Even though some people at Clapham Junction can be rude and push you out of the way the tube is far more volatile.  I think grown men would be willing to shove me on the tracks to get a spot on the tube.  This may be way stabbings are so high in London.  I bet 80% of them take place in the tube during rush hour.  Male train riders are far more gentlemanly.  And obviously the girls who ride trains are way cooler and prettier than the ones on the tube.

Weekend Update: Doing it up Clapham style

Once again laziness has taken over me.  I should really start blogging on the train because I'm on it for about half an hour each way, so it would be a good use of my time.  Instead I read the Metro and then bring up the day's topics to my coworkers so they think I'm smart.  Unfortunately I usually only read about half the article and so I don't have much to contribute.  I can have one good comment and then I'm done because I have no idea what I'm talking about.  My favourite part of the paper is actually the good deeds and love section.  People write things like "To the guy with the hot bod that gets on at Embankment everyday.  I think you're totally gorg and we should go for a drink. - The Girl Wearing a Hideous Jumper."  Do these things ever result in a date?  They're always signed off in the weirdest way and just make you seem like a stalker.  Half the time they'll say something like "We made brief eye contact and I think it's love."  I smile at almost everyone I pass because my awkwardness doesn't know what else to do.  Now I'm nervous this is being misconstrued.  Thankfully no one is going to fall in love with me at my train station because I always look disheveled and under caffeinated in the morning.  The good deeds portion of the section is far less creepy.  It always makes me happy because it shows you that even in a city where grown men push you out of the way to get a spot on the tube there are still good people out there.  It's comforting, especially the ones where kind citizens help drunk people get home.  I suspect one day this may apply to me and I'll have to write into the Metro thanking them.

Anyway, this weekend I planned on staying in and being lazy, but I got dragged out on both Friday and Saturday.  Thankfully both times were within Clapham and therefore required little energy or planning on my part.  Friday I came home from dinner with my friend and my housemate goes "I want to get drunk and dance."  I asked if she meant in the living room, but obviously this wasn't the case.  I guess that was just wishful thinking on my part.  We ended up having a lot of fun and I had an amazing sub before coming home.  The best part was having half of it left over for the next day.  Then on Saturday I was full out asleep on the couch while watching X Factor and a different housemate came home and told me we were going out.  I was in my pajamas, but I figured I'd already been sleeping for two hours so why not.  We ended up going to a pub down the road called Pensbury Arms.  We were expecting it to be a cool local pub, but when we went inside there were about five people and a bunch of laser lights and a DJ.  We got one beer, which oddly enough lasted us until closing time at 11.  We considered ourselves lucky for making it out alive because the place was insanely sketchy.  In the back room there was a chick completely passed out on the table and there was some guy carrying around a mic singing Paradise by Coldplay.  They had karaoke, but this guy seemed to be the only one doing it.  Needless to say, we will be returning just to see if it's always like that.  I figure if nothing else it's a good place to predrink because the drinks were cheap and you consider it a good night when you make it out in one piece.

There's not much else to report.  I've only taken about two photos recently and these are them.

This is a photo of a tree at my local grocery store.  I'm very happy every time I go in because I get to know how many sleeps there are until Christmas.  It's hard to keep track without an Advent Calendar.

This is an extremely blurry photo of Harrods.  I can tell you right now that you should avoid Central London at all costs during the Christmas season.  I was so excited going out earlier in the day because Harrods has Christmas stuff and there are lights everywhere, but by the time I was heading home I was just pure cranky from all the people.  It was insane trying to get anywhere.   

Work is going well.  I'm getting free food on a regular basis and one of my coworkers is my train buddy on the way home.  I also learned something new this week.  Squash is juice.  My coworker kept mentioning how we had a ton of squash and the whole time I was thinking that I hadn't seen any squash in the entire building.  I didn't want to show my ignorance so I just agreed.  Then later in the grocery store I saw juice on the shelves and it was called squash.  Very strange.  This week the head of the company is coming in, which is a bit daunting because he apparently likes people to be very professional and I have a tendency to make awkward and inappropriate jokes when I'm nervous.  Hopefully he just chalks this up to me being a crazy Canadian.  I'll just say the heatwave they're having here is effecting my social skills.

Just Because It's Christmas.....

Of course since I said I'm not drinking all the time I now have to admit that I didn't go to church today because I was too hungover.  In my defense I had no intention of going out on both Friday and Saturday, but my housemate basically bullied me into it.  The good thing is that both nights were in Clapham, so I got to walk home at the end of the night and not spend any money on a cab.  Thankfully I did have some productivity this weekend.  I managed to get a couple of Christmas presents and I saw some cool stuff downtown.  Please do your best to appreciate the pictures I'm about to show you.  I had to force my friend to stop every five minutes while I took lame touristy shots of all this stuff.

 

They are loving Christmas over here.  The decorations are all over the city and they're crazy.  I'm constantly like a little kid screaming stuff like "Oh my gosh, it's so pretty."  If all of that wasn't enough excitement I also went into a toy store.

In case you're wondering, I have no idea who that child is, but after about ten minutes of standing around waiting for parents to acknowledge my presence and allow me one small photo I finally just took the creepy route and snapped a photo of some unknown child.  In all fairness, had I been in the photo I would have been similarly creepy and respectful of the Lego Queen.  This store was overwhelmingly fun.  There were people screaming and throwing airplanes at my head.  Kids were everywhere and I learned that Furbys cost £80, which is absolutely bonkers.  Now that I'm older I feel so bad for putting my parents through the stress at finding money for a ridiculous toy I would only use for a month.  I had no idea that Lego and Ninja Turtles figurines were so expensive.  I feel like I've lived a very sheltered life.

In other news, I'm actually reaching a ridiculous point with missing my dog.  I saw a dog on the tube today and I was smiling like a psychopath the whole time.  Despite this the owner allowed me to pet her.  Apparently she didn't realize that I was one second away from kidnapping her dog and renaming it Beneficent Benson.  Her real name was Jesse (although she totally looked like a Beneficent) and she was some sort of black dog.  Not a lab.  Anyway, I've actually started to research getting some other kind of pet, like a ferret or a hamster.  I don't need a pet, but I'm having some sort of weird maternal instinct without Bean around.  I just want to look after something.  The only thing holding me back is that my housemates may not enjoy the smell of a ferret and might actually find it repulsive.  

As a final thought on the weekend, it's now December, so this is just a reminder to you all that "Just because it's Christmas and at Christmas you tell the truth."  That sounds weird out of context, but you should all watch Love Actually and bask in the amazingness that is the Christmas season.  The end.